bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Randomize