I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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