i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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