i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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