If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
