I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
