I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
