Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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