and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
