Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
