I wish my penis had an off switch
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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