it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
