I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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