I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
third nipple confirmed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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