YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize