Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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