I'm so fucking centered right now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
