She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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