The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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