haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize