Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
