Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
