There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
