it was like his penis was on wheels.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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