the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
