Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
