Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
