So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
