I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
