You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My vagina just recognized that song.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize