Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
