You can't motorboat a personality
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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