I want to walk on stilts...naked
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
