I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
