# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
