well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
