Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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