So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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