apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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