I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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