it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
