Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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