Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
please come you make the beer taste better
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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