upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
