i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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