I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
