GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All the doctor said was why
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
