Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We need to rekindle our bromance
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
