halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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