You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
