either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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