I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
