I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
