i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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