we're chasing vodka with high fives
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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