; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
