time to smoke my breakfast
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
