so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize