Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
