Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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