I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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