She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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