we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
