I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
