worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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