i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
