I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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