you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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