does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
