question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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